7 Steps to Finding the Meaning of Life
Posted on July 28, 2009 - Filed Under Living Fully, The Meaning of Life |
The search for the meaning of life is a quest we are all on, whether we know it or not. You wake up one day, in a sweaty panic, and breathlessly ask yourself, “What is this all for?” Thank goodness you asked, or else you would find yourself at the end of your life having squandered your time here on earth.
It can be pretty overwhelming to explore this question, so let’s break it down a bit.
Step 1: Dealing with your past
It can be very difficult to find true peace in life if you don’t do a bit of excavating. I know it is not fun, but it certainly has its rewards. It can bring you a level of peace an awareness you’ve never experienced in your life thus far. This can be done on your own with books and journaling, but you may find the process is quicker with professional help. Do not be discouraged if you have to shop around a bit for the right ‘fit’ in a therapist — you may get no results with one, and amazing results with another.
Step 2: Figuring out who you are
I’m giggling a bit at the steps because obviously each one could be a book, but in this post I can only offer a paragraph. The task of figuring out who you are under all of the crap that has been layered upon you can be a tall order. You are going to have to pay close attention. Take note of things you like and don’t like, and figure out why. If something really pisses you off, figure out why that is such a trigger for you. Remember who you were before you ‘grew up’. Try to recall what you previously liked to do before you had responsibilities. You may have bought into the notion that you have to lose yourself to live in this world, but I would argue the opposite is true.
Step 3: Take stock
Now that you have been formally introduced to yourself (”It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard so many great things…”), you need to determine what to cut from your life and what to add. This can be brutal. You have probably been doing many things you just don’t want to do (saying ‘yes’ to too much, a job you hate, exercise you dread). You want to align what you are doing with what you want to be doing. And having. And being. Look for these inconsistencies and begin to make changes. Don’t wait for some better time or opportunity, as it may never come.
Step 4: Discovering your passion or purpose
This is a critical step if you want to get to the end of your life and find you did, in fact, really live. Without something to stir your soul, you are dead already. People think this has to be about helping people, etc., but it doesn’t. Theoretically, you owe nothing to anyone (well, you should probably look after your kids, but they benefit from you finding your passion, too). In reality, things you think won’t be helpful to people usually are in some way, if that makes you feel better.
Step 5: Have fun and play often
This is the step where children are the most helpful. Children are, in fact, highly evolved in ways adults are not (or became unevolved). They are very present in every moment. They can find ways to play constantly. Children do not take things too seriously. Kids see the fun life has to offer, and they take full advantage of it.
Step 6: Be aware of the present moment
We have a tendency to live in our heads. You think about the bills that need to be sent out, or getting aunt Harriet a birthday gift, etc. All of this plays out in your head while your children are splashing around in the pool right next to you. You go on vacation and think about how much work you will have to do when you return. There are reasons our egos keep us out of the present moment (again, worthy of a book). If you do not figure out how to be aware of what you are doing moment to moment, your life will pass you by. Have you ever looked at pictures of vacations or weddings, etc., and thought how great it was. Then, can you also feel that feeling that you didn’t realize how great it was when you were actually there? Be here now.
Step 7: Love all over the place
Love your spouse, love your kids, love the crotchety old man at the grocery store. Love the way the rain falls and the sun beams fall through the clouds. Love every moment of life as if you were just told you have 6 weeks to live. Explore every aspect of your existence as if you were a newborn, experiencing it all for the first time. The most important thing you can do is love yourself. If you cringe at that notion, go back to step 1. If you don’t figure out how to really love yourself, you cannot love others and you cannot truly experience the love from others.
The meaning of life is a personal mission. Many would say it is a lifelong discovery. If you do not begin figuring it out now, though, you will be wasting precious time. If you are not living fully in this moment, you are already dead. The meaning of life is quite simply to live. Not simply exist, but really engage in life.
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